Happy Father's Day

First I would like to say Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there.

Father's day for me is difficult. My dad died when I was younger and I miss him terribly. I was such a daddy's girl and I loved being with him. This year has been especially difficult. At my wedding in January...he wasn't there. He didn't get to walk me down the aisle and give me away. He didn't get to have a special dance with me. He didn't get to make a toast to my new husband and I. I know he was there in spirit without a doubt, but it's still not the same. It was hard when I went to all my friends' weddings and I watched them get walked down the aisle and dance with their fathers. I longed to have that myself and hoped they each cherished those moments.

It was hard the year I graduated and he wasn't there to tell me how proud of me he was (I still know he was proud). It will be hard when we start having babies and Grandpa isn't there.

However, I have been blessed (or cursed at times) with a stepdad who has loved and supported me for much of my life. Life with Mike was at times very difficult when I was growing up and some of you may know that the last 2 years were extremely difficult and hard. He is now, however a very different man and that is good. He is trying everyday to be a better man.

Despite the bad through the years I never needed anything that he didn't provide (financially). I know he always loved me and Dennis as if we were his own. And he was there to walk me down the aisle (along with Dennis) and Mike and I did a dance. Mike was there when I graduated and told me how proud of me he was. Mike will be an amazing Grandpa and he is actually worse than my mom about asking when he will get grandchildren! LOL. I love Mike and I know he loves me.

I still miss my Daddy. I wish he was here, but I know he is listening somewhere. So, ((Big HUG)) I Love you Daddy! Happy Father's Day!

Tell your dad you love him and cherish every minute you have with him.

Miss (not) Independant

So, I have emarked on a new adventure in my life. As of last Friday the 12th I no longer have a car. Since I was able to drive I have had a car. So, this is just strange.

I have become a victim of this terrible economy like so many others and just could not afford the payments on my car so we made the decision to do a voluntary repo. Although there was a moment when I felt like a failure for not being able to pay, that is not the worst part. I hate the feeling of not being able to be independant. Now, anytime I need or want to go somewhere I have to depend on others (my mom and husband). They have been great about it and I am sooo lucky to have them to depend on. It's just ackward when I think "oh on Wednesday I can go here....no wait, can I get a ride there?"

Thankful

So, today I was driving down the road and thinking about all the stuff and events I have coming up in the next few weeks. WOW do I have a lot of stuff going on and I'm thinking "how in the world am I going to fit this all in? If I go do this I just have to leave by this time to make it to this..." Then I realize how completely blessed I am to have so many wonderful friends and family in my life. I am sooo thankful for these awesome people and that just makes my life so fulfilling!! :)

Run to you...

I run my life
or is it running me
I run to fast
or too slow it seems
When lies become the truth
that's when I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
into a new disaster so I run to you
I run to you baby
and when it all starts coming undone
baby you're the only one I run to
I run to you

I love this new song by Lady Antebellum. It is kinda like my new anthem lately. Somedays I really don't know if I'm running my life or if its running me. Things just get crazy sometimes, but I love my life and I love that I have Jon to run to. He really is such an amazing husband. Although we had been together for over 5 years by the time we got married there is sooo much that changes after you are actually married. So many good changes. He really is my rock and the one I run to when it really does start coming undone. I just love being married and really being a solid team with him.

Okay, enough sappy stuff...LOL!

I know it has been a while since my last entry. So here is the rundown:
-cousin graduated and turned 18 (WTH...I changed her diapers) I am so proud of her!
-Had a great Memorial Day weekend until...
-got sick on Memorial Day...missed work all week, was miserable
-Went to Janine's AWESOME 80's hair metal wedding
-had Swanson family get together at the pool to hang out with Doug and Melissa before they moved back to San Diego.
-Back to work-cleaned up mess left for me from being absent the previous week
-got hired to plan a party on New Year's Eve
-learned of another new potential client for DOC services
-quit CVS!!!!!!!!
-best friend got married (at the courthouse)

So, life has been hectic, but I like it that way! I would get bored if my plate wasn't full.